Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2013 16:32:14 GMT
It seems like everytime I venture outside of the city gates I am once again reminded why I don't leave more often. I even find myself amused by the fact that my reasons are not what one might normally think. It is not that I am scared of adventure or the wilds surrounding us, It's not that I am too lazy to want to be bothered with it, and it's not even a lack of desire to contribute my services to a city I have called home for decades... No... It's the people.
I know that in that context it sounds terrible but I guess when one lives inside of books and old tomes that ones socialable skills start to deteriorate due to lack of use and because of this I often find dealing with these others to be more exhausting than any spell I have ever attempted. I often times find myself jealous of Seren because of this. Everything comes so much easier to him. The magic he uses, his carefree way with people, and it worries me because I feel that since he has never had to work hard for anything he has been given he has become careless and that carelessness will get him killed. Often times he is too naive and trusting for his own good and while I envy his ability to be so, I often times find I have to be extra vigilant in order to stay on the look out for the both of us.
All the same, despite my dislike of being so far outside my comfort zone I find myself out here in the wilderness assisting with the land exploration team for the city being led by a member of the Sultan's elite guard. He is kind enough despite the feeling I get that he would rather not have us tagging along. Whether he feels it is because we will be a burdan and slow him down, or for some other reason he at least makes an effort to hide it unlike the half-orc that was apparently sent to guide us who has no issues showing her disdain for people she obviously feels are beneath her in some way. I always thought that those who were a part of nature were more serene but perhaps her orc side is strong enough to overrule that. Either way I feel she will have to have an eye kept on her for the safety of us all.
It is frustrating to me to have my abilities to easily, and flippantly disregarded. Especially since truth be told, if it had not been for me we probably would not have made it here in the first place. My brothers magic is strong but the cost of his natural talent is his limited range of useable spells which makes it hard for him to be prepared for whatever we might face and had my brother and I not been there the Emir we were travelling with would have likely succumbed to his wounds in the harsh elements surrounding the city. Alas, I have grown accustomed to being looked down upon or discounted because I can not easily wield a flashy sword, or withstand a heavy beating from an assailant despite the fact I have been working hard at my chosen craft for decades longer than most of them have been alive.
In the end they can choose to discount me if they wish, but soon they will see why they were foolish to do so.
I know that in that context it sounds terrible but I guess when one lives inside of books and old tomes that ones socialable skills start to deteriorate due to lack of use and because of this I often find dealing with these others to be more exhausting than any spell I have ever attempted. I often times find myself jealous of Seren because of this. Everything comes so much easier to him. The magic he uses, his carefree way with people, and it worries me because I feel that since he has never had to work hard for anything he has been given he has become careless and that carelessness will get him killed. Often times he is too naive and trusting for his own good and while I envy his ability to be so, I often times find I have to be extra vigilant in order to stay on the look out for the both of us.
All the same, despite my dislike of being so far outside my comfort zone I find myself out here in the wilderness assisting with the land exploration team for the city being led by a member of the Sultan's elite guard. He is kind enough despite the feeling I get that he would rather not have us tagging along. Whether he feels it is because we will be a burdan and slow him down, or for some other reason he at least makes an effort to hide it unlike the half-orc that was apparently sent to guide us who has no issues showing her disdain for people she obviously feels are beneath her in some way. I always thought that those who were a part of nature were more serene but perhaps her orc side is strong enough to overrule that. Either way I feel she will have to have an eye kept on her for the safety of us all.
It is frustrating to me to have my abilities to easily, and flippantly disregarded. Especially since truth be told, if it had not been for me we probably would not have made it here in the first place. My brothers magic is strong but the cost of his natural talent is his limited range of useable spells which makes it hard for him to be prepared for whatever we might face and had my brother and I not been there the Emir we were travelling with would have likely succumbed to his wounds in the harsh elements surrounding the city. Alas, I have grown accustomed to being looked down upon or discounted because I can not easily wield a flashy sword, or withstand a heavy beating from an assailant despite the fact I have been working hard at my chosen craft for decades longer than most of them have been alive.
In the end they can choose to discount me if they wish, but soon they will see why they were foolish to do so.